The most essential language MEN should learn to understand WOMEN

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What does “Quality of Time ” means?

 

Understanding women

This love language is very popular among women but few men know how to speak it. In fact men are not aware of this language.

Do you remember the most frequently repeated complaint women do about their partners or husbands? -Not listening them and not talking to them enough. What basically women want to tell you is they want to spend more face-to-face time with you; they want to create more connection with you; they want to be more intimate with you.

Men feel vulnerable in two areas: Work and Sex. A challenging problem of today is that men are suffering from their marriage or relationship. They don’t have not enough sexual interaction with their spouses in terms of quality and quantity.

If their work or both work and relationship is not working well, they not only feel like they failed the job, but also they feel they failed as men.

Relationships particularly marriage is difficult, because men are difficult.

I personally know some men who have executive positions at work and are very proud of being unreachable and unapproachable. They are happy with being difficult. Men are not aware of how much barrier and disconnection they create around themselves that prevent love and intimacy with women.

We as women are 10 years ahead of men in figuring ourselves out psychologically and twenty years ahead of men in wanting to and knowing how to create connection and mutually fulfilling relationship with another human being.

We do it beautifully with other women all the time, and we have tried to do it with men. So why do we have to work so hard and so long to create same connection with men?

Instead of asking a man to open up with us pull his teeth instead. We work like hell, but what’s the point?”

Because women are all about connection and men are not.

Because a man has a ton of work to do on himself to even want to come into a relationship and then another ton to know what the hell to do in it once he’s there.

That’s why men need so much help from women. Men need to overcome in themselves to want to be relational with their partner.

Most men are quite shy and uncomfortable at work and prefer to be alone. That’s why they have offices, garages, newspapers and televisions to be alone, to feel more comfortable.

Men are grown up with a gender training to be the strong, silent, independent type.

The lonely cowboy.

The man who doesn’t have any feelings to speak of and wouldn’t speak of a feeling even if by some miracle he realize he has one.

The man who doesn’t have any needs, including the need to relate to anyone. He is fine alone.

In the world of men, it is all about accomplishing, working and having the control, using time productively for important tasks.

Sitting down with your spouse and talking with her?

Being with her for the sake of being with her?

Sorry but we don’t see this on a man’s to do list.

Women are reaching out to their husbands, trying to talk to them, work things out with them. Men sit over there being defensive and mad and shut down and unreachable.

If you don’t have enough time to listen your woman, you won’t be able to create connection and intimacy she needs to have sex with you or to show her love to you. It is her requirement. It is her need. If you say you don’t have time to listen to her but have time to have sex with her, she will not want you and she will feel you are using her for your own pleasure. This is not love for her.

Are you are a man who’s smart enough to believe in the principle of cause and effect?

Are you mature enough to see that her unhappiness in this marriage and her anger at you are the effect and your bad behavior to her is the cause?

Are you strong and brave enough to change your behavior and make her to feel happy in your marriage or relationship?

How can you speak this language? Giving the best gift to her. It is your time.

-Treat your spouse with love and respect.

-Show your respect by listening to her when she wants to talk with you.

-Talk to her when she asks you a question about yourself, your feelings or your opinion.

-Turn off the TV and give her undivided attention at least half an hour everyday.

-Take a walk with her if she asks you to take a walk with you.

-Say kind, complimentary things to her so she feels good about herself and appreciate your being her partner.

 

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How many languages do you know?

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What is the most important tool do we have for communicating each other?

YES, that’s true. It is language. And how many languages do you have ?

-2,3 or 4 maybe even 6 languages.

Do you think you understand people and communicate with them well?

– Yes or no ? Maybe you are not sure?

How about your communication with women?

Do you think you understand women well ?

or Do you think nobody can understand women?

ı know only one language that everybody and every living thing  understands well. It is called: LOVE! 

Love is the only language everybody speaks, understands, gives and takes!

The other 2 important languages are Body Language and Eyes Language.

It is often said that people understand %20 from what you said verbally  and %80 from your body language.

Besides people don’t remember much what you said but how you make them feel when you leave them.

The speaking language comes at the end after love and body language. If you show love to people  with your eyes and body, even you don’t know their language, they will understand what you mean.

Why is understanding Love, Body and Eye language  so important?

One of the major problem in relationship and marriages nowadays is the misunderstanding and miscommunication between men and women.

Although we speak the same speaking language, we have different love languages.

I would like to give an summary of a book called  “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. I strongly suggest you to read this book if you want to understand women. It is a must read if you want to  understand me.

According to the book, everybody opens a love account for every other person in their lives. This means we have different love accounts for our partner, our siblings, mother, father, sister, brother, friend, colleague etc.

When we meet someone new, if we like the person, we open a love account for them. When they make something that we like and enjoy, they deposit to their love account  in our bank. When they worry us, make us feel disappointed or unhappy, they withdraw from their love account.

When the love account is higher than threshold between a man and a woman, they feel in love. When their love accounts in each other decrease below the threshold, they lose the feeling of being in love.

When we understand each other and meet each other’s need and expectation, we increase our love account in our partner’s bank. In order to do that we need to know what their love language is?

Love language is like the type of currency such as Euro or  Dollar  If you have only dollar and your partner account is Euro, he /she will not accept your deposit as your love. Instead he/she will think you don’t understand him/her.

Here are the languages in other way different love currencies:

  1. Words of affirmation
  2. Physical touch
  3. Act of service
  4. Quality time
  5. Receiving gifts

What are men’s most favorite high ranked languages?

Words of affirmation comes usually top and physical touch comes second according to men’s feedback

What are women’s most favorite high ranked languages?

Quality of time and receiving gift share the top two languages women prefer.

Act of service is usually shared among top 3 for both men and women. In some cases it becomes among top 2.

What does “Words of affirmation” mean?

The answer is what you want to hear most from another gender say to you.

Since it is most important language  to men, we can make a list of things what men crave to hear from a woman.

Men want to be a Hero of the women. Men want to be the best , the greatest, the most wonderful, the most charming, the sexiest, the most attractive lover, the champion, the king , the Zeus of the women they like. They would do many things to hear these words.

If you are a man, imagine yourself that you are going to work. On the way, women staring at you and say “What a man!”.  You enter to your office and your secretary tells you ” Good morning, Mr. X. You look so great today! “. Your females colleagues tell you “Hi X, You look so sharp in that suit!” at coffee brake. When you leave the office,  your female customer says “Mr. X, you are a wonderful man, thank you very much”. When you arrive home, your partner, girlfriend or wife opens the door and tells you “Hi Mr. Sexy, ” and gives you a passionate kiss while both of you standing in the door.

It is like  heaven, isn’t it? I guess you prefer to live everyday like this instead of a salary increase once a year. Your ego goes Everest, you feel like you are the King Kong.

Words of affirmation is not only about a man’s apperance but also appreciating his efforts to support the relationship or family, and respecting his work, career, knowledge and passion.

I observed that especially the senior managers, directors, general managers, VPs, C-level men are usually feel alone because they are at the top, they don’t receive enough affirmation and  appreciation for their work and success. They crave more affirmation and appreciation from women.

Men want women to feel prod of him, appreciate his achievements at work, saying “Thank you genuinely” when they do something for her, when they help her, and make her happy.

Men needs to feel that women need them, women desire them, women want them as a man.Men wants to be useful for women. When they don’t receive enough affirmation and appreciation for their efforts, they feel as if they are not useful and needed anymore and they feel their masculinity is threatened.

Words of affirmation for women means giving her compliment and saying her she is beautiful, sweet, cute, lovely. It also means saying her that you love her. It means appreciating her doing house work, cleaning,cooking, ironing your clothes, and all other activities she does for your relationship.

Men don’t know how to appreciate and show affection to women by words.Men are not good at putting their feelings in words, therefore they usually fail to show their love and makes women feel unloved and unworthy.

Expressing your feelings and though is a great skill required for happy and fulfilling relationships. Get a book about how to be romantic and read it. You can find several ways of expressing your love to her. You can fake the romanticism just to make her happy.

Please remember that women are auditory therefore they don’t forget what you say to her even after 20 years. Say her things she loves to remember not to resent.

What does “Physical Touch” mean?

Physical touch can be in different forms like holding hands, touching body parts such as shoulder or  face , hugging, kissing as well as having sex.

Here is  important to learn how to touch a woman in the way she prefers. Not everybody is same. Some women are touchy while the others are distant.

Women usually don’t like being touched by a man unless they feel he is safe, reliable and dependable. Let her decide to touch you when she feels safe. Then she will let you touch her. Otherwise your attempt will be misunderstood and make her runaway.

Women usually loves holding hands in public, hugging each other ,  and kissing softly. Your touching her hair or cheek can also make her feel loved. It is better you ask what  her way of being touched  is before making a mistake.

I believe men want and need  more  being touched than women.The reason is when you are baby and child, we receive enough touches, kisses and hugs from our parents, sister brothers, family members. When we grow up, girls keep receiving hugs, kisses and more touches from their parents while boys  are grown up by being distant from their mother and other females as apart of becoming a man and developing their masculinity. As an example when mother wants to kiss her son, they run away and complain that kissing is girlish. When they become adults, men receive very little touch, hugs and kisses. Therefore their hunger for physical touch increases tremedously.

It is also one of the reason why men have difficulty to control their hands and mouths. They want to hold hand, hug and kiss even in the first meeting during dating. And of course men thinks about sex %70 time of a day.

I have read a sentence from a book saying “Women need a reason for sex, men need a place“. It is very true.

In another book, it was talking about a famous person giving advice to female audience. He was telling them: ” If you want to make your man happy, Feed him and fuck him. That’s all he needs.”

Since men want to have sex everyday, morning and night and suffer from having enough sex although they have partners available, we will discuss the sex topic in a separate post in more details.

I will continue the other love languages in the next post.!

 

 

How do you know yourself? Understanding the sex differences

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Everything starts knowing yourself.

How do you know yourself?

-By being yourself?

Are you a woman or a man?

Do you know what is the differences between men and women?

-Just by physical differences? How about genetic, chemical, psychological, social, sexual differences?

How about the similarities? Are we so similar just by being human?

What does being a man or a woman mean?

Have you ever asked this questions yourself?

Have you ever made a journey to your inner-self to learn about yourself why you are in this way? Why  are you thinking, behaving , feeling in this way?

If you have never questioned yourself, it is the right time to start. It will help you to learn  yourself, your needs, your feelings, your wants, your expectations, your behaviors deeper and better. When you know yourself well, you will have better understanding about other people especially women.

When people have problems in communication, they feel frustration, disappointment, fear, helpless, unworthy, unloved either in business or personal life.

The more we understand ourselves, the better we communicate with others, understand them and embrace the differences.

I had to admit that what I learnt surprised me so much. I realized that  I spent several years for my education and career but never studied myself as a woman. When I shared my finding with my male  friends they also confirmed that they never thought to analyze themselves as a man and never read anything about women although they are living with them together for years.

I would like to share the executive summary of my readings and findings from many resources. Here are some important  facts about what being a woman or man means and what sexual differences are.

  1. Man and woman are different in terms of genetic, physical development, brain structure and how it functions due to hormonal differences since birth. It is very important to understand and accept this fact. I am as a woman different from a man and this is very normal.

  2. Men and women have different body parts, different sexual hormones and different emotional cycle in a month time.The hormonal activity in a woman body has great influence on her behavior, emotional understanding and reactions towards men. A man can be the same man during a month time but a women won’t be the same women during a month. Depending on her special period, she will have different mood, different needs and emotions. She can not be in a fixed mood like yours. Her emotional and mental state will fluctuate due to changes in her hormones. This is very normal.It is what it should be. This situation is misunderstood by men mostly. When you see a change in a woman’s behavior, it is not related to you, it is related to her biology. It is your job to observe and follow her changes and instead of reaction when you feel frustrated or confused, just ask her how she feels and she she has on her period. Women are much more positive and attracted  towards men during the first 2 weeks of their period, distant to men and close themselves in the second half of their period. This is nothing to do with your desirability.

  3. Men and women have different level of sensation. Men are visual while women are auditory. This explains why men are easily attracted by beautiful good looking models and naked women body. If you check boys’ dormitory, you can find famous females naked or sexy posters. Men feel attracted to females’s external appearance. On the other hand, women are attracted verbal communication. The men who talks in an attractive, romantic gentle way have more power on women than a good looking man. If you visit a female dormitory, you can see singer’s poster not naked men. We don’t enjoy naked man body. There is nothing interesting. Naked man body doesn’t give us any imagination to think and fantasy about. But a singer’s romantic lyrics are more appealing for us. Another example is in bedroom it is often an argument to turn on and off the lights. Men want to open to light to see their partner’s body to feel aroused, while women want to turn off the lights. Men interpret this behavior as if woman being unconfident about their body. In fact there are other reasons. The light distracts female brain in such a way that it triggers the fields where makes females feel insecure and unsafe. This is biological. That’s why the warm color lights make women more relaxed, that’s why romantic environment has yellow light instead of cold white.Light distracts and creates chemical reactions in our brain which release hormones and makes us feel to be prepared for a danger and  makes us feel uncomfortable. Do you really think you can have a great sex with a woman who feel very uncomfortable under light? It is better you dim the light and make her feel safe. She appreciates your understanding and feel relaxed with you.

  4. I think, feel, live, interpret, grow, develop in a different way than a man. It is biology, it is genetic. When I don’t understand a man or when he doesn’t understand me, it is normal. There is no problem with either me or him. The problem occurs when we blame each other not being able to understand each other. Most of the people don’t know that it is actually very difficult to think in the same way between two genders. What we can do is  to try listening each other, accepting each other and meeting their needs.

  5. Women and men interpret things differently although they say the same thing. Since the egg is fertilized, the female brain structure is developed differently than a male structure due to female hormones. The brain activities in the right side is more than left side in females’ brain and the opposite in males’. For that reason male are good in analytic thinking while females are better in connecting and networking. Men competes while women cooperates.It is natural and biological.

  6. In a book I read, women are like spaghetti while men are waffles. Spaghetti looks like all mixed and connected like female brain. Our brain works in a way that it connects our past, present and future simultaneously. On the other hand male brain works like several boxes. Before they finish one box, they don’t move towards to other box. Boxes are independent and not necessarily connected. It is very important to understand this concept, otherwise you fail to understand women with your box mindset. Women think as a whole while men think partial.  Here is an example: When men comes to work, he feels tired and exhausted. He doesn’t want to talk too much. He wants to have a quiet, clean house with some warm meals. He needs to relax and afterwards he wants to have sex with his partner. This looks normal to a man because work, relaxing and sex are different boxes. He can quickly goes  to bedroom from dining room, enjoy sex without any conversation. Each room has a door to open and close in a male’s mind. On the contrary work, dinner and bed are connected each other for a woman. We don’t have doors. If we miss the connection, we feel uncomfortable during dinner and don’t want to have sex with you. That’s why men suffer to convince women to have sex with them. Men don’t see the connection women requires to create with men. Each connection is a part of intimacy. When there is not enough connection meaning not enough intimacy, there will be no affection. When there is no affection, women don’t feel sexual drive for you. To overcome the situation men need to create more connection and intimacy.

  7. How can you create connection and intimacy? The answer is LISTENING and ASKING. The most frequent complains women make about their partner are not talking them, not showing them enough interest. Women need their men to listen to them, asked them, talk to them with undivided attention. When you listen and talk to them, they will feel connected to you. You meet their connection needs, they will meet your sexual need. This is the deal.

 

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Qualities a woman requires from a desireable partner

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A photo by Christopher Campbell. unsplash.com/photos/CMWRIzyMKZk

PERSONAL STATUS

  1. Being emotionally and physically single or being divorced.
    1. Being married or living separated or in the process of divorce is not appropriate and desired. Because women need to feel dependability and reliability of man. When you are  not legally single, you won’t be able to create this feeling.
    2.  If you are legally single but living with a partner, or dating simultaneously with other women or being a boyfriend of another woman but still looking for alternatives is neither desired nor acceptable.)
    3. Being monogamous.
  2. You may have kids living with you or living with his partner and  sometimes stays with you. It is acceptable for me.
  3. I expect the man to accept me together with my kids and feel comfortable to spend time together.

HEALTH CONDITION

  1. Being healthy.
    1. If you have any sexually transmittable diseases, it is not acceptable for me.
    2. I expect you to have blood test for Hepatitis A, B, C and HIV virus done in a week before having any sexual relationship.

 

FINANCIAL STATUS

  1.  Having a financial stability, enough income for at least 2 people.
    1. I don’t need your money or financial support but I would like to feel safe and secure if you are  capable of earning money and successful to support our relationship financially.

LEGAL STATUS

  1. Having a clean legal history in terms of crime or violence.

 

50 Most Desirable Qualities of An Ideal Partner with My Own Preference

“Required” means you must have this quality

“Preferred” means it would be great if you have it but it is not mandatory for me

“NA” means I don’t desire or look at this quality in my decision for a partner

27 Most Commonly Desired Traits
1. Chemistry: feeling deeply in love with and attracted to the partner.Required
2. Communication: someone good at both talking and listening.Required
3. Sense of Humor: someone sharp who can enjoy the humorous side of life.Required
4. Verbal Intimacy: a partner who shares his or her deepest emotional thoughts and desires.Preferred
5. Emotionally Health: a partner who is emotionally healthy and able to share a stable life with someone else.Required
6. Strong Character: a partner who is honest and strong enough to do the right thing.Required
7. Artistic: a partner who has a passion for music, literature, drama, art, and the finer things in life, either as a spectator or participant.Preferred
8. Kindness: a partner who is gentle and kind.Preferred
9. Educated: someone whose educational achievements are of a similar level.Preferred
10. Organized: a partner who values structure in his or her life.Required
11. Exciting: someone who isn’t afraid to take a risk and who sees life as an adventure.Preferred
12. Patient: someone who can handle life’s frustrations or momentary setbacks with a patient, steady demeanor.Preferred
13. Tolerant: a partner able to hear and appreciate divergent viewpoints.Preferred
14. Conflict Resolver: a partner who will work to resolve rather than win arguments or conflicts within our relationship.Preferred
15. Attractive: a partner considered “attractive” by most current standards.NA
16. Personal Habits: a partner who maintains high standards of personal hygiene, orderliness, and other personal habits.Preferred
17. Affectionate: someone comfortable giving and receiving affection.Required
18. Industrious: someone willing to work hard at whatever they do.Required
19. Energy Level: someone whose energy level matches my own.Preferred
20. Emotionally Generous: a partner who enjoys people and is generous with his or her compassion, attention, sympathies, and love.Required
21. Intellectual: a partner who is bright and can share an understanding of the world as well as enjoy discussing important issues.Preferred
22. Self-Confident: a partner who knows and believes in himself or herself throughout life’s ups and downs.Required
23. Unassuming: someone able to accept criticism and even admit to being wrong sometimes.Required
24. Able to Accept Help: a partner willing to accept outside help for personal or relationship issues that are serious and important.Preferred
25. Curious: a partner hungry for new information and knowledge, and who strives to learn as much as possible.Preferred
26. Loyal: someone who can be counted on – to be supportive and on the same side.Required
27. Adaptable: a partner able to adapt to life’s surprises.Preferred

5 Most Commonly Desired Values
1. Family Life: a partner committed to marriage, home, and family.Preferred
2. Shared Interests: someone willing to share my interests and passions. Preferred
3. Style and Appearance: someone who cares about the way they look and dress and has a sense of personal style.Preferred
4. Shared Politics: someone with the same or similar political beliefs.NA
5. Spirit of Volunteerism: a partner who shares a willingness to volunteer and support community and/or social causes.NA

5 Most Common Preferences Regarding Family
1. No Children: someone who shares a desire not to have children.NA
2. Family: someone who shares a desire to have or adopt children.NA
3. Stepchildren: someone who will accept their partner’s children as his or her own.Preferred
4. Parenting Style: someone who shares views about how to raise children.Preferred
5. Parent Care: someone willing to help me take care of (their and/or) their partner’s parents, now or when the time comes.Preferred

3 Most Common Preferences Regarding Social Living
1. Staying In: a partner who mainly enjoys staying in together and having quiet evenings alone or with close friends. NA
2. Sociability: a partner who loves to socialize with lots of different people. Prefered
3. Autonomy: a partner who will give enough space to for a partner to be their own person.Prefered

3 Most Common Preferences Regarding Spirituality
1. Spirituality: someone with a similar deep commitment to spirituality and who shares my beliefs. NA
2. Religious Practice: a partner committed to being an active member of a church, temple, or congregation. NA
3. Spiritual Acceptance: a partner who accepts and respects my spiritual beliefs, whether he or she shares them or not. Required

3 Most Common Preferences Regarding Career and Finances
1. Responsible: a partner who is financially responsible.Required
2. Ambitious: a partner who shares desires to achieve high financial and/or career goals. NA
3. Relaxed: a partner able to forget about money and focus on the important parts of life. NA

4 Most Common Preferences Regarding Sexuality
1. Abstinent: a spouse who has saved himself or herself sexually for marriage. NA
2. Conservative: someone reserved and traditional in his or her sexual needs. NA
3. Sexually Knowledgeable: someone mature and knowledgeable as a potential sexual partner and able to express himself or herself freely. Preferred
4. Passionate: someone willing to explore mutual sexual desires with passion and understanding. Required

Discovering the Woman 3.0!

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what women want

Cracking the mystery of women

This is the beginning of a  journey to discover a woman’s inner self.

The journey started when  I wanted to learn who I am, why I am in this way, how and why I feel, think and observe in the way I do.

I wanted to share my needs, my feelings, my understanding about myself, about men and about relationships.

I want to have a fulfilling, harmonious relationship with my partner, one that isn’t quite so hard or confusing. This will give you the wild idea that understanding me and generally women might actually be possible.

You can use this knowledge to improve your own relationship with your girlfriend, partner or wife. Although every woman is unique and special in her terms, we have similarities as well.

What do I   want in my life as a woman?

I want to be successful in my career.

I want to be successful in my job.

I want to be independent and free in terms of financially.

I want to develop myself physically, mentally and emotionally.

I want to discover the earth, travel the world and embrace our differences.

I want a partner to share my life and enjoy happy moments.

I want to have committed loving and filling relationship.

I want to hug and being hugged, kiss and being kissed.

I want to make love, have sex, desire someone and to be desired.

What do I need in my life as a woman ?

I need to feel safe, secure, and comfortable. I need sharing my life with my family, friends and the people I love.

I need being loved, being cared, feeling special.

I need to be like a woman.

I need honest and open communication.

I need help for my house chores especially things requires physical strength

I need help to overcome my language problems in the place where I live.

I need someone to show me the directions to go when I feel confused or lost in life.

Selling is sexy!

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Manufacturing desire

 

Have you ever thought about how much similarities exit between selling to customer and seducing a woman?

Selling is having sex with the customer. Selling is seducing another person on the contract.

We need to seduce our customers to buy and buy or we will land in the trash.

No fake orgasm here. Customers are hard and mean

If they don’t like us, they will close the door and never open again.

To keep the customer with us, to make them stay for a brief, hot affair or long term committed relationship, we don’t need anything except be open and communicate.

If I am a customer, then you become a supplier:

  • Seduce me to buy!
  • Get me hot with values!
  • Make me buy your asset!
  • and I never mind I am working overtime to learn more about you.

Your main task is getting to know yourself and getting to know your customers.

Your objective is to make sales for business or your private life.

Here I tell you what I know so that you can have your own experiences.

It is completely up to you how deep and intensive your experience is going to be.

Now let’s go to it.

Have fun and go for it.

What kind of supplier are you?

The Casanova

When it comes to business, you are the greatest and the best.

You know how to get people excited. Your offer is passionate and charming.

You look really sexy.

BUT All of your promises aside, did you ever consider whether I am even interested in you, your information, products or services?

Every message you sent is about I… I … and I….

I’ll tell you what: Until you start caring about me , my needs; I don’t want to buy anything else from you.

Make me feel like you are really interested in me like you care, not just for one night.

Stop talking down to me and meet me in the eye level!

See things from my point of view.

Find out how you can make my life better, easier, happier.

Here is what you can do:

  • Get to know me!
  • Develop a real message instead of clichés!
  • Make an effort to become better instead of thinking that you are the greatest anyway!
  • Take real interest in your customers!

 

The Fact Guy

You like to think a lot and turn off the feelings. Feelings are for other people on the other hand of the facts.

It takes until years that you feel good and ready to share your feelings! You talk only facts, data and figures. You are not really interested in whether I will understand what you offer. It is my bad if I am not attained your level of sophistication.

  • Stop giving me mental constipation!
  • Get to know me and your other customers! What do we already know, what information do we need or don’t need?
  • Learn to tell a story and allow for feelings!
  • Turn your vast knowledge into entertainment!

 

The Social Guy

You like to talk a lot but have difficulty to come to the point!

Talking too much is a turnoff during lovemaking and in business. You say a lot yet nothing.

  • Show me you have a point to make in your proposal!
  • Get to the point with “Less is more!” concept!
  • Surprise me with a new approach of thinking!
  • Make me laugh!

 

The Cool Guy

You are a person in your pajamas in the bed who reads business section of today’s newspaper while your partner is in leather lingerie trying to get your attention.

If you don’t share a little bit of your thoughts or feelings with your customer, you will be simply overlooked and skipped.

  •  Show me some feeling so that I don’t always think you are in bad mood, because you are being so short with me.
  • Surprise me by letting me know that you are a little bit crazy, sometimes.

 

 

4 Steps To Be Best Lover

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advice

I am pleased to have this opportunity to offer a few thoughts on a subject that’s of intense and immediate interest to all of us and that I personally feel very strong about, too.

Why do you want to be the best lover? What do you hope to accomplish?

Are you looking for a new lover or  a partner as an alternative of your current relationship, or changing in your relationship status or a sexual transformation in your life?

Most of the relationships, which fail, start as an alternative searching and end as a personal transformation. Forget it!

Your target has to start in the right kind. Change the kind, change the faith!

Transform by renewing your mind and your new self!

Would you like to make next relationship successful?

Not only what you do but also how you do it, matters a great deal!

Therefore here are the 4 steps to be best lover:

 

  1. Be right person at first!

Making a clear decision about your expectation and defining your needs are crucial for long-term sustainable relationship. Just like deciding what to be, where to go or how to achieve.

Starting to be the right person is the most important step!

This step includes choosing the right type of relationship, right time and right attitudes. It requires closeness, affection and a huge portion of intimate conversation. SUCCESS comes with a total of emotional, physical and mental fulfillment.

  • Do not start a relationship with wrong person- Never!
  • If you believe in your decision, like believing a vision, then do your best to establish intimacy and recreational companionship – BEFORE you start having a serious relationship.
  • Be honest and open about yourself, your needs and your desires till both of you are ready – but keep the balance not to lose time and attraction for each other.
  • Forget about thinking future and the status of your relationship–keep your focus short and make it fun as much as possible!

Be yourself!

Be loyal!

Finally keep in mind that even before you start your relationship, you can do everything wrong and have with a great relationship at the end.

  1. Commit to your relationship!

How do some people make relationship work and fulfilled? How do you achieve all those desires you set for yourself?

Commitment is all about your story. No one will find a loser attractive!

Happy couples tell stories!

Happy couples enforce not only a high level of commitment for each other but also put effort in creating intimate conversation, affectionate and friendship.

A great couple is about giving and taking happiness and pleasure.

  • Celebrate important dates (birthday, anniversary, special dates) as often you can, as much you can, as big you can!
  • Happy couples have willingness to overachieve, to stay longer together and work harder for their relationship. They manage obstacles as steps to hold each other stronger.
  • Stay focused – stay committed – stay emotional

 

Show grace under pressure, stick to your promises, share every possible moment!

Give your partner the best gifts you can: Your time

Work harder on your love life than you do on your career, your whole life will improve when your love life improves.

And let him always be in charge! This is so important 🙂

  1. Keep asking and listen for learning!
  • Why not talking to each other  half an hour  with undivided attention?
  • Why not changing the communication way if it is not working?
  • Why not arrange a day off for two of you in the last minute to surprise?
  • Why not stop arguing and start loving?
  • Why not being open to try new positions on the bed?
  • Why not kinky sex instead of missionary?
  • Why not having fun in the kitchen or on the floor instead of bed?
  • Why not trying sex toys?
  • Why not enjoying hot wax or ice cube  for  more pleasure?

Learn how to play games, be best gamer on the bed!

Slow the man down, speed the woman up!

Always remind yourself: Great pleasure comes with variation!

Let’s communicate intimately and closely everywhere!

  1. Strive together for better!

Believe in yourself, your partner and your relationship!

Be a great role lover model for your partner!

Be close to each other mentally, physically and emotionally!

Be open and honest to each other!

Be dirty, be erotic, be open to try different things!

Leave space for your imagination, want more!

Stop thinking, start enjoying!

And just say your significant other :

“Don’t tell me how your day is, just take off your clothes!”



 

How Men Categorize Women in Their Mind!

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women categories

My brother who is an expert when it comes to women once revealed how men categorize a woman in their mind. They are:

  • The woman to be loved
  • The women for passion: they enjoy talking,spending some time together and like to have passionate sex
  • The woman they just have sex.

Let’s deep dive a little bit how men think.

The lowest value men give to women is when they think a woman just for sex. Sometimes sex is spontaneous like one night stand sometimes it is regular. They used to say it is just for pleasure and have fun. Some of them think the woman doesn’t have intelligence to have smart discussion but very good on bed therefore they keep doing it. Sometimes men spend time with them just for fuck body. Women under this category satisfies only men’ physical need but lack of capability to fulfill his other emotional needs such as talking and sharing opinions on important topics.

The second category has more value for men. A woman enters this category if she is confident herself, enjoying life, independent, smart with a career or a degree, with positive life energy, pretty,cute, beautiful, charming by appearance etc. Women in this category are rating high in sexual and intellectual intelligence and most men enjoy this type of women. Because women meet men’ basic emotional needs such as physical attractiveness as well as admiration, being proud of, appreciation of men. Women under this category are very good in recreational companionship therefore men enjoy a lot to spend time and money for these kind of women. Most men and women spend time together during dating  when they feel women under this category, if the woman is very good and perfect match, she rises up the the top category where she becomes the woman to be loved.

Men give the highest value to a woman when they think she is the right person for them, when they feel being in love with her and cannot live or breath without her. Men can do anything to please her.This is also the category where women are always dreaming to have where they feel themselves like a queen.

Now here is the big question. Where we should put wives? They are supposed to be in the first category of “women to be loved ” and in fact they stay in this category for some years till man and woman lose their passion, intimacy and love each other and when sex frequency drops from once a day to once a month. The wives fall down from top category to second and afterwards third category slowly iF they cannot recover their relationship with their men.

To sum up I put wives a new category “safe port” between “the woman to be loved” and ” women for passion “because men are still loving them but have less sex, less conversation and sharing less time due to some problems they face after years. Woman still keeps its value therefore men stay in marriage but unhappily and unsatisfied. We will come to this point when we discuss sexless marriage in more details.

When a man falls in love, his total energy, his power, the electromagnetic field he distributes around himself multiples so much that is impressing and so attractive. I often see a spark on their eyes and a glory around their head when they are in love. They become so motivated, almost flying from happiness.  If we make an analogy for men’ behavior, passion and energy with a car, you can drive up to 120 km when they are with a women for sex and 160-180km when they are with a women for passionate and you feel the speed of 250km and adrenalin as minimum.  When you experience the highest quality of passion,love, energy, fun, speed and everything else at top level, you can imagine the other levels are not enough to satisfy any more.

 

Welcome Willy on board!

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Willy the fabulous

I am excited to introduce you fantastic and fabulous Willy.

As woman  we can say that we have four parts managing our lives: mind, heart, body and soul. On the other hand men has 4 parts which are mind, heart, body, soul and Willy who is the general manager of all and directing the %60 of male daily activities by preventing Mr. Mind  to think and manage body and thoughts logically.

Willy has a strong powerful character  and personality independent of a man’s own character. He is thinking in emotional way and disrupt Mr. Mind continuously every minute of work day. He is the resources of all dirty thoughts, wicked fantasies, sexual desire and passion.  When he feels hungry, there is no way Mr. Mind can stop him to manage men. Although Willy works day and night, Mr. Mind is able to pressure him during day light but after it get darks, Mr. Mind feels so tried that he gives up  the control to Willy. That’s why if a man calls or sms a woman after 22:00, That’s actually Willy who orders. Willy feels so passionate and impatient till night there is no way Mr. Mind can stop him after midnight.

Let’s take an example. Mr Mind likes a woman and dating with her. Mr. Mind usually behaves very nicely, tender and control man’s behavior in order to avoid  to offend a women during dating. On the other hand form the first minute Willy already starts Xray’ing woman’s complete body focusing especially important areas such as woman’s breast, waist, hip and legs and determines which of them are at the best size and shape. Willy also start immediately imaging how the woman would do on the bed, thinking her as naked, trying different positions, oral, anal …etc   with her. While Mr. Mind tries to control his emotions and says “Look I would like to have a something serious with you, I am not like other guys “, Willy throws elbow to him often and  he says  “Oh baby,  all I want to do have sex with you. I look forward to seeing you bouncing on my body as soon as possible. Can we jump immediately to the point and skip all this ceremonies?”

Willy is the brother of Mr. Mind and very naughty, sometimes becomes like a jerk, has all type of animal instinct, no logical think, full of lust and desires which actually create fun of sex and entertainment in men and women’ life.

Mr. Mind is the brother who makes women fall in love with the man. His gentle romantic behavior providing affection, intimate conversation, caring and sharing that all women crave for. Willy’s job starts after the woman falls in love. Willy is the sources of the sexual drive and sexual  fulfillment. While Mr. Mind likes and enjoys things go slowly and naturally, Willy always pushes him to reach the sexual conclusion and final scene of the entertainment. Willy wants to have sex every day, morning and night, 4 times in a day , all places not just bed, in the car, in the kitchen, in the toilette of a restaurant, in the shopping center, in the forest  any where any position any time possible.

Especially during intercourse, you can easily feel and see that Gentle and Tender Mr. Mind disappears, It is Willy who drives sex and make man lose all his logic and behaves completely someone different who tries to get the most pleasure as possible.

Although women have difficulty to accept how much they want Willy, this is true.All women want a fantastic, sexy, desired Willy fully of lust with all type of adventures in our sex life.

We will discuss it later in details what and why women thinks which will never tell men about Willy in the future posts. We will also talk about how many men feel insecure and unconfident about their Willys, its shape, length, angle and  performance and how much they are sensitive about women’s feedback when it comes to Willy.

Feel free to share your own opinion how you see your own Willy or  your partner’s in your relationships.

 

 

 

 

Let me introduce Sexy Adam and Hot Eve!

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Sexy Adam and Hot Eve

In this blog all people who shared their experiences are real. Men will be called Adam  and women will be called Eve with a nickname in front which describes their difference. We will unveil hidden thoughts, dark fantasies, pain and pleasure, sub and dom things, fears, shames, excitements, great orgasm experiences from both Adams and Eves. I will try to provide as much information as possible about them while protecting their identity. I believe you will find some similarities in your life.

Since I worked mostly with men, the experiences will come  from my male friends or colleagues from more than 20 countries in the world between age 25 up to 70. They are officially single, emotionally single officially unhappily married, happily married ,divorced, in separation, thinking separation, thinking divorce, or just enjoying their lives.We have quite large portfolio of perspectives from both gender.

You will learn female perspective and opinion for  top best positions, top fantasies, best lingeries, best sex toys and must read, must done, must known content for great sex life from an expert whom is called  “Porsche of Bedroom”

I will focus on the fun and enjoying side of sex. We will talk dirty and make jokes of sex while touching serious points of understanding both male and female sexual intelligence.

I hope you enjoy!